Discover the Royal Playa Club, nestled in the heart of a wild and bountiful natural landscape. Despite radiation, pollution, and climate change, treat yourself to an enchanting stay in our luxury lodges and admire the majestic beauty of the region. Our top-tier services promise you an unforgettable stay. ⇩
Warning
The reader will understand that this site is neither a real nor a fake tourism site, but a glimpse into life on Earth following climate change, pollution, and the impending nuclear war.
This site will not function on outdated systems. Minimum 2024 and later.
Translate English by Google and DeepL - Made in BE 🇧🇪
Comparing with our archive images, one can better appreciate how massive pollution and radioactivity have advantageously replaced a unbearable blue sky with this magnificent greenish tint.
You will be comfortably settled on the shores of Lake Xhatiff, in a perfectly waterproof chalet with a much-appreciated exotic style, far from the abandoned cities. Each pavilion has a terrace with a view. A light mist (albeit highly toxic) and a few drops of freezing, acidic rain add a poetic touch to this wonderful day. The new-generation purifiers are now fully functional.
Discover our charming desert island located in the heart of the green lagoon. A heavenly microclimate thrives thanks to the responsible management of nuclear and chemical waste buried at shallow depths. The natural radioactivity of nuclear waste generates free green energy that is easily exploitable. Enjoy an unforgettable ride in a shielded gondola during these beautiful, magical evenings.*
Enjoy all the magic of the season’s last radioactive snow. From the hilltop you will have a breathtaking view of the valley, shrouded in thick, toxic fog. Book your balloon flight.*
Here we see the Duplantier family upon their arrival. In a warm, festive atmosphere, Mrs. Duplantier received a plastic palm tree as a welcome gift. Vacationers also benefit from free decontamination.*
All our Prime residences meet the highest current CBRN protection standards.
Fresh, decontaminated air is circulated several times a day.*
Large, perfectly sealed portholes offer panoramic views of our beautiful region.
Please note that it is forbidden to open the portholes.
✱ The majority of our clients chose the Prime category for its comfort and exclusive options: wifi, cocktails, tennis courts, private terrace, medical assistance, free decontamination...
At the reception desk, you will find many beach items such as roller skates, breathing masks, kites, diving equipment...
Here’s a beautiful afternoon under a bright blue sky, enlivened by a few playful bats.
With radiation levels still high, we can enjoy our private beaches in peace.
You have your own comfortable, shielded, and secure beach chair.*
Don’t let your children play with the dead fish.
Discover our delicious oven-roasted pink mountain rabbit stew, served with crispy, golden fries.
The dish is garnished with basil (from Koekelberg), small wild mushrooms, and a caramelized onion sauce, creating a harmonious blend of irresistible flavors.
A dish that will delight food lovers of all ages.
Les Côtes de Tchernobyl, Grande Réserve 1987 AOC is the ideal accompaniment to your meal.
Selected by our sommelier, it is a prestigious blend of Merlot, Saperavi, Odessa Black, and Cabernet Sauvignon, typical of the region.
Its exceptional length on the palate and slight metallic and black truffle notes will delight wine lovers.*
The atmosphere was particularly foul and unbreathable all week.
Heavy contaminated rain fell on our beautiful region a few days ago.
Nevertheless, we have had very pleasant temperatures down to 19°C.
Outings in the open air are now allowed for up to 12 minutes.
A few residues of dichlorodiethyl sulfide in the atmosphere and seawater give us that slight sharp and pungent smell.
Observations made in recent days using satellite imagery show that a high-pressure area centered over Ireland has fortunately blocked the radioactive clouds at the Belgian border and pushed them back towards France.
Despite some understandable concerns, it is encouraging to note that the radioactivity is well below the new standards and is therefore perfectly safe for the population at 250 mSv/year (or about 30 µSv/h continuously).
The Department of Zoos and Forests, European certification safe for the population, The Ministry of Tourism and Pollution, SERAD The European Radioactivity Service, Radioactivity during the holidays.
We are continuing our ongoing efforts to improve our environment and protect your health.
Real-time view thanks to our network of webcams. Beautiful weather across the entire region. However, we are observing some scattered radioactive rainfall.
Open the audio channel, 10s
The new generation of Happy Vax Gold Series Family Edition vaccines are available free of charge at the reception desk in a luxury box.*
They are made from Bonobo stem cells and come in colorful syringes that children will love.
Recommended against Mountain Green Chicken Bites, Shigellosis, Covid-19, Hexemus purulus, Anthrax, Chloropicrin, Tularemia and ionizing radiation.
Voted Vaccine of the Year by a consumer group.
On this radiant day, a family, filled with joy and happiness, celebrates their vaccination.
Together, they celebrate this symbol of hope and the future.
For extended outings, consider bringing along a very practical supply of decontaminated compressed air provided by our partner, Club Air Service. Available and refillable free* of charge at our concierge desk.
This latest-generation protection kit ensures a safe and worry-free stay.
It was with some amusement that we received this poor dog for consultation, who had turned green following probable exposure to the cumulative effects of toxic rain and ionizing radiation (even at low doses) during a walk.
We would like to remind you that your dog should also be equipped with protective clothing when going outside.
However, this beautiful coloration should disappear after a decontamination session and a few weeks of patience.
Disclaimer: Out of deep respect for animal welfare, we would like to clarify that Yuki was not actually dyed green. (editor's note) (photo nat vh)
In case of emergency, our team remains on standby to provide you with the necessary support. We are committed to responding quickly and effectively to your needs. Your safety and well-being are our top priority.
This extraordinary mushroom-counting machine embodies an unprecedented technical feat.
It has been applauded by the scientific community and the general public, who are always eager for new innovations.
Thanks to artificial intelligence, technological research promises fascinating discoveries!
Its versatility is remarkable, as it can also be easily adapted to count other objects, such as canaries or tennis balls.
It is imperative to keep this device out of the reach of children to prevent inappropriate use.
Laboratory link
❗️The machine only works in recent configurations.
Our permanent exhibition “WILD ANIMALS” shows us a pink mountain rabbit here (cuniculus roseus montanus).
This fearsome and bloodthirsty predator, the pink mountain rabbit, is a rare local species of the Leporidae family.
Its appearance is deceptive; it is very aggressive, and this behavior remains unexplained.
In fact, it attacks anything that passes nearby at night, often in groups when devouring large animals such as cows, hunters ...
During the day, it sleeps, securely perched high up on a tree branch.
Summer hit: Chronic flatulences.
Philippe Vanhamme, Foreword by Dr. Sigismond Gontrand Levelu.
Analysis, causes, consequences, and above all, anecdotes.
Excerpt : The sniffer dog quickly picked up the fugitive's trail...
Accidentally escaped from a high-security laboratory, the Hexemus Purulus macro-bacteria, which appeared recently, has proliferated massively.
Its decomposition releases an absolutely appalling odor similar to Swedish Surströmming.
Those affected suffer severe intestinal convulsions (shigellosis) before dying.
Resolutely up-to-date, this essential coffee cup enhanced with AI will notify you as soon as it is empty via your smartwatch or other device.
Voted AI device of the week by a group of consumers.
Also available for left-handed users.
This Multi-function knife, versatile tool will help you effectively in the kitchen, garage, or office.
Machined from depleted uranium.
L'Élixir du Lac Xhatiff
the famous digestive, is on special offer this month.
A treasure of nature sourced from a natural spring in the great marshes, it is very rich in bio-elements.
(Consume with caution.)
Your request for information, testimonial, complaint, or reservation will be processed as soon as possible
by our team back office.
• BPat85 : La découverte de ton site est un régal, aussi bien pour les yeux que pour l'esprit.
• Jean Némard : Y a t'il autre chose que du lapin? Çà fait 3 semaines que nous sommes ici.
• E.P. : Je suis perdu, pas d'accès au GPS, peut-on venir me chercher? Le help desk ne répond pas.
• 婵 : 感谢您给我们带来了这次美好的住宿！我们一定会回来的。
• Nicodak : Ce site est juste génialissime! Bravo pour le boulot technique et pour le contenu rédactionnel.
• Nat : Est-ce que vous avez aussi des masques pour mes chats qui m'accompagneront?
• NV : Brav eo ar gwiskamantoù glas neon war an aod.
• JPB : Même en cherchant la petite bête, ton site est un bijou, il devrait être primé.
• JK : Ton site est un vrai délire, très marrant.
• de Ottawa : Est-ce qu'on pourra quand même se baigner dans le lac?
• Bernadette M. : Bonjour, j'ai le dé bouché depuis la marche pour le climat dans les marécages.
• Josianne T. : Après mon retour, j'ai mis mon palmier en plastique devant ma fenêtre.
Flags 2026:
Canada
USA
Belgique
France
Israel
My motorcycles from 1969 to the present day.
A few knives handmade in our workshops.
Jewelry by Nathalie VH Instagram
