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Royal Playa Club ©
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Discover the Royal Playa Club®: your luxury refuge in the heart of wild and generous nature! After difficult times, treat yourself to an enchanted break in our prestigious chalets, where comfort and elegance meet. Enjoy our private beaches, ideal for admiring the majestic beauty of Lake Xhatiff. Our high-end services and our idyllic setting, less irradiated than large urban centers, promise us an unforgettable stay.
After the war, certain animal and plant species were able to adapt to extreme conditions, in particular mushrooms which adapted well. Live a unique experience, far from the worries of everyday life.
Discover the incredible transformation of our environment! No more horrible blue sky and overwhelming sun. Today, enjoy a magnificent greenish hue that soothes and revitalizes. Transform your space with this relaxing atmosphere and let yourself be seduced by a softer and more welcoming nature. Choose well-being!
This beautiful light is due to radioactivity, the macro-bacteria "Viridis tortor bacteria Hexemus Purulus" in decomposition and the massive presence of dichlorodiethyl sulfide C4H8Cl2S in the atmosphere and in sea water. But it is harmless to the population.
The Royal Playa Club® awaits you for a nuclear winter under the sign of serenity!
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The reader will have understood that this is neither a real nor a fake tourism site, but a look at pollution, climate change and the next nuclear war. This site works in modern browsers and recent configurations.
Made in BE
“What emotions.
The mushrooms are magnificent this year.
I'll be back again.”
We are supported by the Ministry of Tourism and Pollution.
ou will be comfortably installed on the edge of the lake in a perfectly waterproof chalet, in a very popular exotic style, far from ghost towns. A light mist (although very toxic) adds a poetic touch to the atmosphere. Book your balloon flight over the lake.
It's thanks to responsible management of nuclear and chemical waste, buried at shallow depths, that our charming village enjoys a heavenly microclimate. Its location, in the middle of the marshes, is ideal. Enjoy your romantic vacation on a beautiful winter's evening. Don't let the children play with the dead fish!
Discover the winter magic in the heart of the mountains, where our establishment offers you a breathtaking view of the Lac valley engulfed in thick and toxic mists. Enjoy a unique moment contemplating the first radioactive snowflakes falling slowly, silent witnesses to a sad reality. Our hearts tighten in the face of this once magnificent landscape, now marked by the scars of a world in decline.
Spend pleasant musical days listening to our antenna.
" At the beach or on a walk, enjoy a delicious iced mushroom."
The atmosphere was particularly nauseating and unbreathable all week. Contaminated snow fell on our beautiful region a few days ago. We nevertheless had very pleasant temperatures on Tuesday afternoon. Outdoor activities are now authorized for up to 12 minutes.
In case of a prolonged outing, remember to take a supply of compressed and decontaminated air provided by Club Air Service, very practical. Available and rechargeable free of charge on our concierge service.
Despite concerns about radioactivity, it is encouraging to see that we are well below the new standards and therefore safe for the population. This is a testament to ongoing efforts to improve our environment and protect our health.
Here we see the Duplantier family upon their arrival. It was in a warm festive atmosphere that Mrs. Duplantier received a plastic palm tree as a welcome gift. Holidaymakers also benefit from free decontamination.
The majority of our customers have chosen the Prime category.
All our cottages are built in stainless steel and meet today's highest protection standards (NBC+++). In the “Prime” category, you'll enjoy a very comfortable, fully-equipped layout. Fresh, decontaminated air is regularly renewed. Large, perfectly sealed windows offer a panoramic view of our beautiful region. We remind you that it is forbidden to open the portholes.
The chef's specialty: steak and chips, small wild mushroom mousse. You have the possibility to have breakfast or dinner on your covered terrace.
Côtes de Tchernobyl”, Grande Réserve 1987 AOC, is the perfect accompaniment to your dinner. Voted wine of the year. This prestigious blend of Merlot, Rkatsiteli, Chardonnay, typical grape varieties of the region, will delight wine lovers. It offers exceptional length on the palate and a light taste of black truffle that will delight connoisseurs.
May contain traces of Cesium 137.
(photo Nat.VH.)
A testament to our times, this extraordinary mushroom-counting machine embodies unprecedented technical prowess. Applauded by the scientific community and the general public, who are always eager to discover new things. Thanks to its innovations, technological research promises fascinating discoveries !
A few simple settings can also be used to count canaries, tennis balls, etc.
🔵 Click on the image to access the laboratory.
❗️The machine works in recent configurations.
Summer hit: Chronic flatulence.
Analysis, causes, consequences and especially anecdotes.
Excerpt: "The sniffer dog quickly found the fugitive's trail..."
Philippe Vanhamme - Éditions Dupavé 2023.
The macro-bacteria "Viridis tortor bacteria Hexemus Purulus" is the cause of the beautiful green color of the sky.
But its decomposition gives off an absolutely terrible smell similar to the Swedish "Surströmming". People poisoned by inhalation suffer severe intestinal convulsions (shigellosis) before their death.
On the occasion of the 2573rd International Climate Conference and COP29, a walk takes place around the lake every Tuesday. This event is organized by the "Department of Zoos and Forests". You will be accompanied by qualified guides, high-tech equipment and latest generation protection kits to ensure you have an unforgettable trip.
The new-generation “Happy Vax Gold Series Family Edition” ® vaccines are available free of charge at the reception desk in a deluxe Special Family Edition box. They are made from Bonobo stem cells and presented in pretty, colorful syringes. Recommended for: mountain green hen bites, Shigellosis, Covid-19, Hexemus purulus, Anthrax, Chloropicrin, Tularemia, etc.
Drunk with joy and happiness, a family was vaccinated.
It was with some amusement that we received in consultation this poor pooch who had turned green following probable exposure to the cumulative effects of toxic rain and ionizing radiation (even at low doses) during a walk. We remind you that your dog must also wear protective clothing when out and about. This beautiful coloration should disappear after a decontamination session and a few weeks' patience.
Disclaimer: In the interest of animal welfare, we would like to point out that the dog "Yuki" was not actually dyed green.
(photo nat vh)
Your request for information, testimony, complaint, reservation will be processed quickly.
• Jean Némard : Y a t'il autre chose que des sandwiches ? Çà fait 3 semaines que nous sommes ici.
Il y a du poulet, mais il fallait choisir la classe Prime.
• J. V. : Je suis perdu, peut-on venir me chercher ? Le help desk ne répond pas.
• Mme N. : 感谢您给我们带来了这次美好的住宿！我们一定会回来的。
• Nicodak : Ce site est juste génialissime ! Bravo pour le boulot technique et pour le contenu rédactionnel.
La direction vous remercie chaleureusement et vous offre un backlink.
• Nat : Est-ce que vous avez aussi des masques pour mes chats qui m'accompagneront.
Il faudra un accord signé par vos chats.
• NV : Brav eo ar gwiskamantoù glas neon war an aod.
• JPB : Même en cherchant la petite bête, ton site est un bijou, il devrait être primé.
Merci beaucoup.
• JK : Ton site est un vrai délire, très marrant.
Merci, vous avez gagné une boîte de champignons glacés.
• de Ottawa : Est-ce qu'on pourra quand même se baigner dans le lac ?
Oui, mais toute baignade sera suivie de 40 jours d'isolation.
• Jean Bonnot : Qu'en est-il de la radioactivité ?
C'est sans danger pour la population, nous sommes en dessous des nouvelles normes.
• Bernadette M. : Bonjour, j'ai le dé bouché depuis la marche pour le climat dans les marécages.
• Josianne T. : Après mon retour, j'ai mis mon palmier en plastique devant ma fenêtre.
© 2015-2025 Copyright and copyright: Philippe Vanhamme - Royal Playa Club - BELGIUM.
All texts, photos, illustrations, logos and packshots are created exclusively for this site.
Mail:
info@royalplayaclub.be
My bikes
Kaunertal
Some knives handmade in our workshops.
https://www.cookieyes.com
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Links: Regionalis