The lake
You will be comfortably installed by the lake in a perfectly waterproof chalet, with a much appreciated exotic style. The morning mists (although toxic) add a poetic touch to the atmosphere, with a pretty greenish hue this morning.
Tourism in the world after
The sky is now advantageously colored with a nice greenish tint. This is due to a high concentration of microscopic, poisonous and foul-smelling green algae (Hexemus Purulus) suspended in the air, which have appeared as a result of climate change, pollution, nuclear winter and other disasters. chemicals...
But it's harmless to the surviving population. The Royal Playa Club® invites you to spend unforgettable holidays in its prestigious lodges.
Our luxurious villas are located on the shores of Lake Xhatiff, and meet the highest standards of comfort and security for an ever more demanding clientele.
On the occasion of the next International Climate Conference, a Nature & Discovery walk in the Great Swamps is offered to you every week on Tuesdays.
The informed visitor will have understood that this site is obviously not commercial.
Works in the recently updated 2021+ configurations.
Approved by the Ministry of Pollution and Tourism. Leaflet Jan2023/726
Our lodges
Our customers testify:
"So many emotions,
the mushrooms are beautiful this year,
I'll be back."
On the beach
Our desert islands are in high demand. Let's have a nice day at the beach, under the shade of a mushroom.
At the reception desk you will find some beach items.
Lake heights
From the heights, we contemplate an overall view of the landscape. We observe the lake at the bottom right and the Grands Marécages further to the left.
Blue lagoon
It is thanks to the responsible management of nuclear and chemical waste, buried at shallow depths, that our charming village benefits from an ideal microclimate. Our pavilions are perfectly integrated into a wild and generous nature. Don't let children play with dead fish!
Last week's weather report
brought to you by Iced Mushroom.®
Heavy toxic rain and snow flooded our beautiful region a few days ago. Pleasant temperatures will persist (or not) throughout the month.
Pub
At the beach
like on a walk, enjoy a delicious frozen mushroom.
Without dyes or preservatives.
Web cams
Live webcams.
✖︎ Out of order
Radioactivity
Radioactivity
holidays.
FM 93.8 MHz
☢️ There are still a few areas to avoid this month and that's good news, the radioactivity remains at a rate below the new standards and is therefore safe for the population. Outings in the open air are now allowed for up to 12 minutes. Have your dosimeter checked regularly at reception.
Hi-tech
Mushroom counting machine
A witness of our times, this extraordinary machine has been greatly applauded by industry professionals, the scientific community and the general public, always eager for novelties. Its usefulness will obviously not escape anyone. A few quick adjustments allow you to count mushrooms, canaries and Covid-19.
🟩 Click here or on the image to access the laboratory.
Machine only works in newly updated 2021+ configurations. Obviously doesn't work in MSIE.
Gastronomy
Fine cuisine, local products.
The chef's speciality, the wildebeest rib steak grilled over a wood fire, accompanied by small wild mushrooms picked by hand in our countryside. Served with fries and a little mint sauce.
©photo Nat.VH.
"L'Eau des Marécages"®, well-known digestive, is currently served free of charge. You can have lunch on the terrace.
Culture and leisure
Littérature
The new novel by S.G. Levelu is snapping up at all points of sale or in our online store.
Excerpt: "Out of breath, he ran towards the dense crowd, that's when..."
Press: "Corona, a breathtaking suspense, a breathtaking thriller."
Event
The exhibition "Our pets: THE GNOU" prolongs its success. As everyone knows, the wildebeest is a pet that spends its time sleeping. It feeds mainly on carrots which it digs up easily with its horns. Its delicate health means that it is best kept warm at home in winter. Show this voucher on your smartphone for free entry.
Photo
Our photo competition on the theme "Nature in close-up". Here we see a green mountain toad. (Mons viridis bufo) The Green Mountain Toad is a species that lives on high ground, in fact it likes low temperatures. His aggressiveness is surprising. Its bite is extremely toxic and quickly causes convulsions of the intestines in its victim. They sometimes attack in groups, we have not seen one attacking a wildebeest, a species very widespread in our Ardennes.
🟩 Click here or on the image to see the photos already exhibited.
To participate in the contest, send us your best photo by email and you may win a year's subscription to the friendly Revue Médicale, this month: "Chronic flatulence".
La boutique
• Small forest mushrooms, picked by hand. They are naturally luminous.(ref.champis8444)
• A multi-purpose tool, essential for the kitchen, office or garden. High quality manufacturing in Depleted Uranium. (ref.mar86588)
• Bardaf, a local abbey beer, amber and generous, with a slight fungal note. (To consume with moderation). (ref.bar32258)
• Our covid-19 key rings are in high demand. (ref.key1324)
• Water from the Marshes, a gift of nature, greatly facilitates intestinal transit. (To consume with moderation). (ref.sinkU2)
• For geeks, our selection of connected objects that take us into the fascinating world of web3.(ref.demander)
Facilities and services
Comfort
Our chalets, perfectly waterproof, are built in stainless steel and meet the best current standards of protection and comfort*. Large portholes offer a panoramic view of our beautiful region.
(*Euro2021788585b)
Precautions to take
Get a next-generation vaccine kit, is available free of charge* at the reception desk. Made from Bonobo stem cells and presented in cute, fun-colored syringes. Effective against Mountain Toad bites, Covid 19-27, Hexemus Purulus, Anthrax, Cholera, Encephalitis, Tularemia and a special nerve gas, etc.. (*Offer reserved for Prime customers.}
Reception room
Here we see the Duplantier family upon their arrival. Mrs. Duplantier received a plastic palm tree as a welcome gift*. Vacationers also benefit from free decontamination*.
(*Offer reserved for Prime customers.}
Warning
In the event of a prolonged outing, remember to carry a supply of compressed and decontaminated air which is very practical. Available for free* in our concierge.
(*Offer reserved for Prime customers.}
Emergency services are accessible through our red line.
Hello, all our lines are busy, try again next week.
Desk
Our dynamic team.
Your request for information, testimonial, complaint, reservation, or your order, by e-mail:
🟩 info@royalplayaclub.be
or by filling your customer file:
Our clientele is international.
Our customers testify:
• Nicodak: This site is just awesome! Bravo for the technical work and for the editorial content.
- The management warmly thanks you.
• Aristide Dupont le Glandu: Hello, I would like to book a chalet near Lake Xhatiff for my family. Do we need a sanitary pass for anal pustules and intestinal pruritus.
- Management: “No, it's unfortunately useless, our specialists confirm that with these serious conditions you will be dead next week.
• Nat: Do you also have masks for my cats that will accompany me.
- Management: “You will need an agreement signed by your cats.
• NV: Neon green jumpsuits look great on the beach.
• JPB: Even looking for the small beast, your site is a gem, it should be awarded.
- Thank you very much, you have won a keychain.
• JK: Your site is a real delirium, very funny.
- Thank you, you have won a box of glazed mushrooms.
• from ottawa: Can we still swim in the lake?
- Management: Yes, but any swimming will be followed by 40 days of isolation.
• Jean Bonnot: What about radioactivity?
- Management: It is safe for the population, we are below the standards.
• Clochemerles family: We would like to reserve one of your wonderful chalets on the shores of Lake Xhatiff.
• Tom hatte: The stay at the lake is unforgettable.
• Cunegonde maroslavna: I've had a hard time since the climate march in the swamps.
• Josianne T: After my return I put my plastic palm tree in front of my window.
• Depain family: It was really wonderful.
- The management warmly thanks you.
• Aristide Dupont le Glandu: Hello, I would like to book a chalet near Lake Xhatiff for my family. Do we need a sanitary pass for anal pustules and intestinal pruritus.
- Management: “No, it's unfortunately useless, our specialists confirm that with these serious conditions you will be dead next week.
• Nat: Do you also have masks for my cats that will accompany me.
- Management: “You will need an agreement signed by your cats.
• NV: Neon green jumpsuits look great on the beach.
• JPB: Even looking for the small beast, your site is a gem, it should be awarded.
- Thank you very much, you have won a keychain.
• JK: Your site is a real delirium, very funny.
- Thank you, you have won a box of glazed mushrooms.
• from ottawa: Can we still swim in the lake?
- Management: Yes, but any swimming will be followed by 40 days of isolation.
• Jean Bonnot: What about radioactivity?
- Management: It is safe for the population, we are below the standards.
• Clochemerles family: We would like to reserve one of your wonderful chalets on the shores of Lake Xhatiff.
• Tom hatte: The stay at the lake is unforgettable.
• Cunegonde maroslavna: I've had a hard time since the climate march in the swamps.
• Josianne T: After my return I put my plastic palm tree in front of my window.
• Depain family: It was really wonderful.
Liens externes:
